"Lovergirl." by Charlotte Blantchett

(not the smothering heat one would expect from summer days)

On sunny days I think about you. I wonder if you’ve thought of me just as much as I think of you even now – it’s an unlikely possibility. The moments where I think about all the memories we’ve shared, I smile. Not the one people take hours to practice, not the one that makes me look good – no. It’s that cheesy smile I’ve preserved only for you. On sunny evenings I wish you’d talk to me like before. Where my presence never went unnoticed by you. Those were the days where you called me your girl, and to me… you were everything. Now days, weeks, months have gone by since I’ve last seen you message me – notice me, speak to me, stay with me. I’m your lovergirl, and you are mine.

 On dark days I regret everything I’ve done to you. On days like those I wish you never met me, talked to me, noticed me. On days like those I remember why we’re not like how we used to be. On those days I wish I could apologize to you, and maybe, just maybe, you’d forgive me, or better yet you’d – forget me. On those days I needed you the most. I’m your lovergirl, and you were mine. 

On still, lonely days – I stand by myself. I watch as the hours go by while the gears in my head shift and turn. I don’t think clearly on those days – well… I never do. On those days I think of what could’ve been, and not just between us, but me. I live in my new life now. It’s cold and spacious – not the good kind. It’s lonely here. On late nights I cross my legs and contemplate all my doings – right or not. I miss you, not just as a lover but as a friend. I miss the days where you’d listen to me ramble endlessly or talk about the stories I read. Now I stare into endless cold hallways and head into empty classrooms knowing that no one will ever know my name. Not the way you knew it. I was your lovergirl, and our time has run out.